The Aging Nightmare of a Twenty Something


Your tongue brushes against the back of your teeth and something has changed. There is movement. Your fingers confirm it. Then in an instant the rogue tooth falls and you spit it into your hand. But this isn’t the end. As you lay in bed you realize several are loose. Blood mixed with saliva suddenly fills your mouth. You sit up, mortified. It appears you are losing all of your teeth at once.

This was my nightmare as a young wife and it had nothing to do with poor dental hygiene or drug use. At twenty I was all but washed up. My Japanese husband had confessed that he was attracted to pre-teen girls; a preference normalized by his culture and supported by the lack of laws to protect children from predators.

That vivid nightmare fooled me over and over. I thought everyone had the same dream. It is strange that more than thirty years later I feel younger now than I felt then.

UN Report on the exploitation of children in Japan


12 thoughts on “The Aging Nightmare of a Twenty Something

  1. How sad that culture is so blind to protecting children. What a nightmare, so glad you are safe now.


  2. I have never found that any of my husband’s family, friends or any of my many Japanese friends support this idea of pre-teen girls being attractive sexually. It is not okay with the average Japanese person-not where we live anyhow. The media pushes this (like the AKB48 group). From what I’ve experienced porn or pedophilia isn’t any different here as in the USA. There are lots of things in the states that would never fly here-things on TV and the way young girls dress. We live in a very modest area though. So while it does happen-I don’t think the entire culture supports this. It seems your (x?) husband was a pedophile or had those tendencies.


    • I missed replying to this Mrs.N. I really appreciate your viewpoint, but let me expand upon what you have written.

      No one would have immediately recognized my husband as a pedophile from the outside, so you could have been his friend and not known. The media is essentially the problem; but their market didn’t create itself. And the media, is most certainly reflective of the culture. In the U.S. you could not get away with that kind of advertising or entertainment on such a scale. I have not lived in Japan since the late nineties, but at that time manga in particular was filled with the sexualization of young girls and today still J.K. dating is more rampant it appears than it was then. I fully support the recent conclusions/recommendations to the Japanese government presented by the special U.N. Envoy on Child Exploitation. I read her entire paper and it is attached in my blog to another post. In no way do I think the average Japanese citizen supports child porn etc., but women do not run the show or play a big enough role in government to make sweeping changes. It was only under great pressure that Japan outlawed the manufacture of child porn (2011) and procession of such (2014). I find that rather shocking. I truly love Japan and I want better for them.


      • I’m sorry you had such a terrible experience with your marriage. I pray that you can heal from it. The bottom line really, with all the evil in the world isn’t governments or media or anything like that- simply – it’s a world that has turned its back on God. Until our Lord returns it will continue to grow even more evil. In Every country there are mounting issues and secular answers will not solve them. People can try but really – it’s just putting a bandaid on a festering wound. It just covers up what’s really going on underneath. I know most now a days don’t believe that- even people who call themselves Christians. That’s ok- everyone is free to believe what they want but in the end they must also deal with the consequences. It’s a sad world we live in but soon- the Lord will return and right it again. That’s the only real hope we have.

        Liked by 1 person

      • And I have to agree – in the US you might not get away with the kind of advertising you are talking about. You can get away with telling kids being gay or transgender is “normal”. You can get away with letting boys in girls restrooms and vice versa and many other issues but yes- they probably do better at hiding pedophilia. In Japan it’s not so discreet.

        Liked by 1 person

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